


You’re All I Have

by comedianrichie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Just boys being sad and angsty, M/M, No relationship but hints at the end, they love each other though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24272026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comedianrichie/pseuds/comedianrichie
Summary: When Richie turns sixteen he goes missing for a month. One month, three days, twenty hours, four minutes and twenty five seconds. Not that Eddie was counting.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	You’re All I Have

When Richie turns sixteen he goes missing for a month. One month, three days, twenty hours, four minutes and twenty five seconds. Not that Eddie was counting. He leaves on the night of the seventh of March and comes back on the sixth of April, hair shaved at the sides a black ring through the side of his nose and a tattoo on his neck that says losers with the s covered by a red v. The same word that Richie had fixed for Eddie when Greta had scribbled it on his cast. 

Richie comes back different. A month and three days is a long time for change. Eddie logically knows this but it still takes him by surprise when Richie pulls out a cigarette tucked over his ear and actually smokes the damn thing, takes him by surprise when Richie talks about drugs and this guy who let Richie fuck him, or how he got into a club underage or how he drank until he passed out. Change can be good sometimes, but in Richie’s case it isn’t.

Eddie walks Richie back to his house after he shows up at his, pupils huge and clothes reeking of day old sweat. Eddie has no words for his best friend. None. Except for ‘I’m taking you home’ because Maggie despite being work loaded every day had noticed when Richie didn’t come home. Had noticed when a week later he was still gone. Had even called Derry police to find her son because ‘he’s all I have’. So Eddie walks with Richie to his house, the little squat yellow building with blue shutters and orange shingles. Eddie knocks on the door for Richie when he can’t lift his hand to do it himself, waits for Maggie to answer so Eddie can leave knowing that Richie will be in good hands. He watches as Maggie swings the bent fly screen open with tears in her eyes because ‘hey mom’ is said breathy and sad and lonely and scared. Maggie gathers her son in her arms and squeezes him tight, Richie cries like the time he got hit by Bowers for sticking up for Bill. Richie cries like the time when Eddie got called a faggot by Greta and Eddie had just taken it and hadn’t stuck up for himself. Richie cries. It breaks Eddies heart.

Two days later Eddie finds Richie sitting under the train tracks smoking a half done cigarette. He’s got headphones on and his cassette player is clipped to his ratty jeans, his eyes are closed and he’s mouthing alone to ‘Walk on the Wild Side’ tapping his old tennis shoe against the dirt in time to the beat. Eddie knocks his foot against Richie’s to grab his attention then sits next to him, grimacing at the dirt that’s going to ruin his shorts. Richie pulls his headphones down and hangs them around his neck, he doesn’t bother pausing the song just turns his head to look at Eddie as he takes a drag of his nearly gone cigarette. They sit in silence for a while listening to the songs change from Lou Reed to Queen to David Bowie, eventually the tape ends and it’s quiet except for the summer cicadas buzzing.

“I know you’re mad with me so hurry up and start yelling.”

Eddie stares ahead and watches the long grass sway in the breeze.

“I’ve got nothing to say.” 

Richie snorts.

“You’ve always got something to say.” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Not this time because I realised that no matter what I say right now isn’t going to make any difference.” 

It goes quiet and Eddie is so mad because he has nothing to say, he wants to yell but he has no energy to do it because he’s tired. So god damn tired from staying up every night hoping to god that Richie wasn’t dead somewhere, that he wasn’t gone for good.

“Are you expecting me to say something?” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nope.” 

Richie grunts then stands up.

“Why the fuck are you so calm about this? You once chewed me out because I went to my Aunts and forgot to tell you! That was for two days! I’m gone a whole month and suddenly you just don’t have anything to say? Well fuck that!” 

Richie kicks the ground and sends a plume of dirt into the air. Eddie looks up at Richie.

“What do you want me to say Richie?”

“Maybe something more than just ‘it’s not going to make a difference’? Jesus Christ anything would be better then this fucking deafening silence! It’s killing me Eddie, it’s fucking killing me.” 

“Well maybe you should of thought about that before you left. Shoulda thought about it when you fucking left me and your mom and your other friends!” 

It’s Eddie’s turn to shout.

“All you ever think about is yourself because always gotta look out for number one right? You come back here changed and expect everyone to suddenly pretend that you weren’t missing for a month? To pretend like this alien version of yourself is normal? That the Richie we know and love isn’t here anymore and instead standing in his place is a drugged up stranger? For fucks sake pull your head out of your ass and take a look at yourself! Listen to what I’m saying because I’m the only person who’ll tell you the truth. You’re not our Richie and if you keep playing this stranger you never will be!” 

The words just keep pouring from Eddies mouth and he can’t stop them he can’t stop the hurt from leaking or the pain from seeping. He needs Richie to know just how fucked up this is. How fucked up he left everything.

“Eddie I...” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Just shut up. I’m sick of hearing excuses and lies, I’m sick of playing along. I’m done. I’m done Richie.” 

Richie takes a stuttered breath and steps away. Eddie stands up and wipes his shorts down before making his way out from under the tracks.

“For whatever it’s worth Richie, I waited every day for you to come back. Even when I didn’t think you would. When everyone else gave up.” 

Three months goes by slowly, dragging Eddie along like a paper bag in the wind. Things are strained within his group and most of the time they’re split down the middle, everyone rotating aside from Eddie to hang out with Richie. It becomes easier when Stan and Ben decide they want to spend their days with Eddie instead of Richie because they’re hurting too. It becomes easier when Richie stops showing up to classes or school all together. It becomes easier and Eddie hates it.

By August it’s spreading Eddie thin. So thin that the gentlest of breezes could snap him clean and dissolve him. Eddie is sick of having a massive crack between him and Richie. Hates that he can’t just forgive and forget like Beverly and Bill, hates that he’s still so mad and upset even though it happened months ago. It’s stupid.

Eddie finds himself standing on the porch of the squat yellow house with blue shutters and orange shingles. He finds himself knocking and waiting patiently then smiling gently when Maggie answers the door in her powder pink diner dress, with her off white tennis shoes and her hair in a messy bun. 

“Hey love, haven’t seen you around in a while. How you been sweetie?” 

Maggie has been the mother Eddie always wanted. She wasn’t over bearing like Sonia, didn’t remind him when he stayed over to take his pills or not to do certain things because ‘you’re allergic Eddie Bear’ she lets him eat the extra brownie from the tray and lets him eat as many sweets as he wants even though she knows they make him sick. She’s an amazing woman and mother. Richie takes her for granted always.

“I’m okay, getting by. Is Richie home?” 

Maggie nods and goes to say something when her phone buzzes in her pocket, she pulls out the Nokia and answer with a sweet hello before nodding behind her at Eddie. He smiles and mouths a thank you before ducking in. Eddie’s feet take him through the living room past the kitchen down the hall to the very end room where the door is shut and music is playing. Taking a breath Eddie knocks twice. 

“Maggie I told you I don’t want to go out for dinner, leave me alone!” 

Richie yells beyond the door.

“Good thing I’m not your mom and that I don’t wanna take you anywhere.” 

Eddie calls back. Smiling gently to himself when he hears a mumbled shit and the thud of feet. The door is thrown open and Richie is standing there in his Power Rangers sweatpants and Wham! shirt. 

“Hey. Hi. You’re uh, you’re in my house.” 

“Astute observation skills Richie.” 

Richie laughs and the sound alone takes weight off of Eddie’s shoulders.

“You wanna come in?” 

Richie jabs his thumb behind him but Eddie shakes his head.

“Wanna sit outside on the swing?” 

That swing has been their spot since they were kids, it holds memories dearest to Eddie’s heart. Like the first time Eddie had gotten a bad grade Richie had hugged him on the swing and told him that the world wasn’t over just because he got one bad grade or when Richie told him that he was pretty sure he was into guys just as much as he was into girls or when Eddie told him that he was gay and even the simpler times of reading comics and listening to music. All precious memories all contained within a rickety porch swing.

“Yeah okay.” 

They walk out onto the porch and sit down on the swing, it creaks under their joint weight but it holds.

“It’s good to see you Ed’s.” 

“Yeah it’s good to see you too.” 

Richie moves a little closer so that their knees are touching.

“I’m sorry that I was such an asshole. I totally fucked up and I screwed up the one thing I cared about and like when you wouldn’t talk to me or come near me I realised just how much of a screw up I am. For the first time I felt like something was missing, like I couldn’t breath because you weren’t by my side and I know that sounds crazy but god Eds it’s true. You’re my everything and I totally get why you said all that stuff and I totally deserved it but I wanna make things right. Please let me make things right.” 

There are tears building up behind Richie’s glasses and his bottom lip is wobbling. He looks like a kid, like the kid Eddie befriended after he saw Richie shove a crayon up his nose during arts and crafts. He looks like his best friend again.

“I know you’re sorry Richie but you gotta know that I can’t just forgive you, I’ve been trying to but I’m still so hurt and confused and upset and mad but I want to be your friend because you’re all I have in this shit town. You’re all I have.” 

Eddie is sure he’s crying now too.

“You don’t understand how much that means to me Eddie. To hear you say that you still want to be in my life makes me so happy, I won’t break your trust ever again because you’re all I have as well.” 

And it’s not one of those moments where everything clicks and all is forgiven because things are still tender, wounds are still mending but the hug that they share makes Eddie warm inside and reminds him of better times. They sit on the porch swing until sundown when Eddie has to go but he promises he’ll come back tomorrow because they have a lot of catching up to do.

During December things finally slow down, the group is no longer split and they’re all sitting together in Bills garage watching a scary movie on the tv that is suppose to be in the living room. Eddie and Richie share a beanbag and a bowel of salted popcorn and sour gummy worms, while Jack Nicholson swings his axe repeatedly into the door on screen.

Eddie huddles closer to Richie, he hates scary movies but everyone had vetoed him when he suggested Superman two. Richie slings his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulls him closer letting Eddie rest his head against him. It’s comfortable and easy and Eddie sighs happily. Richie kisses the top of his head and links their fingers and this is new but Eddie doesn’t hate it. 

“Love you Ed’s.” 

Eddie knows it’s true. Knows that nothing could be more closer to the truth than that, it makes his heart flutter and his tummy buzz.

“Love you too Rich.” 

And things seem to be alright in the world now that Eddie has his best friend back. 


End file.
